The Number 1

FIRST AND FOREMOST
by Jackie Kay

My good points:

I am fresh, novel, the genuine article. I am unprecedented. From the word go, - a healthy ego; I'm incomparable, bold and original. Never backwards in coming forwards. Never put off to tomorrow what I can do today. I rise at dawn with the cockerel. I reap the first fruits. I put my good foot first. I also first foot. I am phenomenal. First among equals. I took the first step. I made the first move. I always stand up to be counted. I don't run away from the truth. I get things first hand; I come straight to the point. Hold on, hold on, I say, first things first . To sum up: I'm quite exceptional.

My bad points:

I am first to fly off the handle. I am selfish, callous, cruel, ruthless. I look after number one. I put myself first. My friends call me Numero Uno . It pains me, but doesn't stop me pushing to be first in the queue. Oh! I say snootily, First come first served. I don't care for other numbers. Useless losers. I travel first class. I throw the first stone. I am tall, lanky, wear my beret, the French way. I am Premier. I am the first in my field. I show off at first nights. I believe in yours truly; the first stroke is half the battle. Let's face things frankly - I am the one and only.

A unicycle has only 1 wheel.

In old ecclesiastical symbolism 1 was unity and represented God which has no parts.

In the British Royal Navy the first lieutenant of a ship is colloquially known as "Number 1".

The Atlantic Ocean grows 1 inch wider every year due to continental drift.

The traditional gift for a 1st wedding anniversary is cotton.

A sphere and a Mobeus strip each have 1 surface.

Lots of things occur only once. There is only 1 you, 1 me and 1 Maths Year 2000.

There is only 1 planet Earth that we all have to share.